January 19

Secret Report: Last night’s mate for head of state launch

A very interesting document was delivered to the ACM National Office this morning. It is a report, hot off the press, about last night’s (18 January, 2006) Sydney Institute function for the republican movement to launch their latest campaign.

This is to make one of their mates our head of state by throwing out the present constitution which ensure national leadership beyond politics.

As David Koch, the presenter of the channel 7 ‘Sunrise’programme pointed out to the national director of the republican movement this morning, how could the republican movement expect Australians to show any interest unless the republicans tell us what they want to put in the place of the present system.

As one of our supporters puts it, the republican movement now consists of RWM’s. That is, Republicans Without a Model.

But back to that secret report.

Our correspondent actually left the launch feeling rather sorry for those taking it all so seriously.

The report continues:

“The speeches were nothing but the tired, old statements of the bleeding obvious.

“For example: Australia is a well governed country [yes indeed]; Australian multiculturalism is a success and source of pride; continued non-commitment on a particular model worthy of support; mindless appeals to crude nationalism and other miscellaneous, emotional appeals with no thinking behind them at all, such as the idea that people will get on board if they are convinced that any old Australian could be head of state [without any need for a public profile across the country or the requisite financial resources if there were to be an election].

“One audience member asked about the benefits of becoming a Republic. All three panelists had nothing to respond with. Surely when they were brainstorming over their lattes, it crossed at least one mind that a concise list of agreed benefits of change might be a good starting point, but alas, it was onto work on the catchy slogan -and a list of suppliers of yellow ribbon!

“Form over substance yet again!

“Gerard Henderson made the comment that he had found it difficult to explain the Australian system of government to a "very, very prominent American a few months ago". The thought that immediately crossed my mind was to yell out "has he/she heard of a place called C-A-N-A-D-A, quite near actually", but thought I might be charged and offered as a sacrifice by the worked- up members of the audience.

“Then again, maybe Senator Natasha Stott Despoja has again declared Canada a Republic!

“To a question on the cost of change, all that was meekly offered was a suggestion that if you didn’t like elections, then you could ban them all. It was not a proper answer to a seriously-put question. The answer reveals to me that republicans have learnt nothing from their 1999 loss and still treat non-believers with the utmost contempt and ridicule. While ever it is thus, they will continue to form a very small club of the like-minded, with any hope of spreading the message more widely completely doomed. I guess that’s my reason for the feeling of pity.”

The report contained some advice to ACM. That advice is succinct: “Nothing to fear from this non-event” 

Notwithstanding the feverish efforts of the republican movement, who have been using badgering editors and programme directors across the country, apart from the Channel 7 programme there was barely a mention in the media, and nothing in the Sydney press.

Brett Hogan summed it up on the Channel 7 programme when he said: “There is one side in this debate which is stuck in the past, and its not Australians for Constitutional Monarchy.”

As we said in a recent column, the republicans will soon be asking whom they can blame for this fiasco. It is sure to go the way of the ‘secret weapon’, Tom Kenneally threatened a surprised nation years ago. When he revealed his secret weapon, it turned out to be the earth shattering news that the republicans had conscripted that Australian icon, the cartoon character Blink Bill, to their cause.

But Blinky Bill, who at heart is a dinky-di Australian, proved a most unwilling conscript. He was soon AWOL, and has not been seen since in the “pigsty”, which is what one of the chosen promoters of this campaign in the media, the prominent republican Greg Barns, has so charmingly renamed our Commonwealth of Australia.

Until next time,

David Flint

PS. By the way, why doesn’t the NSW Premier, Morris Iemma, who has told the commissars of the People’s Republic of Bondi-Waverley they had better fly our Australian flag over Bondi Pavilion, also instructl his own employees –whom we pay-to stop obstructing the wishes of the people and fly our flag over the place where the republicans chose for their launch-the site of Governor Philip’s First Government House?


Tags

David Koch, mate for head of state, Morris Lemma, Natasha Stott Despoja, RWM's


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